Science Experiment: Grapes and Bread

People who think beer pre-dates wine are numbskulls.  Beer takes effort, technology, and a recipe.  Wine, like shit, happens; all by itself.  How?  Because that white bloom you see on grape skins is actually wild yeast. 


So thinking back to the marvelous chapter Adam Real Last Name Unknown from Kitchen Confidential and it's descriptions of the degenerate baker's lexan tubs full of various dough starters  ("feed the bitch") I said to myself, self, let's see if we can make bread with flour, water and grapes.  I didn't even add salt to give the yeasts the best possible fighting chance.


I'd like to be able to say that I carefully measured everything, but like many other things I'd like to say, such as Jennifer Aniston just did my manscaping, I can't.  But this should come close and is more of a general guide.  I also saved a bit of the starter and now have my own wee bitch in a jar in my fridge, so we'll see how long I can keep it alive.


Put approximately 1 1/2 cups of AP flour in a bowl big enough to allow expansion and add UNWASHED grapes.  I used five big seedless black grapes, but you can use smaller ones I guess and just add more.  I also cut a slit in each one to let out a little juice to help the fermentation.  And here's a tip, leaving the stems on will help with extraction later.  Stir well with 1 cup of water, or more as needed; it should be rather liquid. cover with plastic wrap and let the magic happen.  It may take several hours.  Once the fermentation gets going you can stir in more and more flour until you have something like bread dough.  Once you have a nice rising dough you can do the punching down, kneading, etc.  I suggest a day or two of cold fermentation in the fridge, too.


WARNING: It's not going to have that sour, boozy smell like s. cerevisiae, but will instead seem rather . . . funky.  Don't worry and start imagining all the vile critters growing in your starter.  The oven kills everything anyway.


When ready to bake, fish out the grapes and stems (I used tweezers), make a nice round loaf and let it rise on cloth---I recommend the super peel---covered with another cloth.  Note that this dough will spread as much as it rises, it's that kinda dough.  I baked mine on a pizza stone at 450 degrees using the Julia Child water spay method: apply dough to stone, spray water on the stone, then again after two  minutes, then again after another five.  I took it off the stone and transferred it to a rack after another ten minutes so the bottom doesn't get too burned, and it cooked for another ten minutes, so say 25-30 minutes all day.  You want an internal temp of 200 degrees.  I really recommend this method.  The stone gives great oven spring and the steam keeps the crust from forming before the bread has really risen.


The crust was nice and the crumb had a very interesting texture.  It was soft and nicely colored with a few large vertical air holes in the dome.  I served it with homemade goat cheese ricotta and olive oil.  Yum.


Try it!