The Gunslinger shoots his own foot off . . . AGAIN

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

There will be plenty of ink, real and digital, spilled dissecting Brett Favre's boneheaded play last night---you know, the one where he was running around having fun like a kid on a sandlot and throwing the ball to the wrong colored jersey---so I don't want to beat a dead horse.

Who am I kidding? I want to beat it into horse tartare with a flail tank, then dress it in purple, douse it in kerosene and light a match.

In August I published this post, which read in part:

"Today we hear of another re-re-re-un-re-un-retirement by Brett Fah-vre. So he found a way to skip camp AND start for an NFL franchise. How nice. I won't be burning my number 4 Jersey. But let's just say I'll enjoy no small amount of schadenfreude when the Vi-Queens' season ends on a Favre interception that the guy selling lutefisk in the parking lot saw coming. "

Substitute "gumbo" for "lutefisk" and I suppose I was right on the money. And of course now I just might burn the jersey. But perhaps that's unfair.

I occurred to me that Brett is like George Lucas. He gave us one great season, and one almost great season (Star Wars and Empire). He then stumbled and bumbled through some embarrassing seasons that were entertaining, but that I could have done without (Return of the Jedi). We missed him when he went to the Jets but really didn't care much and generally wished him well (the years between Part VI and Part I). But then in a quest for more money and stats that he didn't need, and fame he didn't quite deserve, he betrayed us. He went and took a giant shit on all we held dear. (Phantom Menace, etc.). But do we really hate George Lucas for all that? Or do we try to forget and remember the good times? Well, in 4's case, his wetting the bed on national TV . . . again . . . kinda makes it easier. I watched his post game comments with no small amount of schadenfreude. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a tiny, a very very tiny, bit of pity as he stood there bruised, limping and exhausted. Why, Brett? Why? Was this Jar Jar Binks of a season worth it?

On a more statistical note, I wonder if the folks at Elias Sports Bureau can tell us the record for quarterbacks whose last throw of the season was an interception. In the meantime, the Trolls at http://www.coldhardfootballfacts.com/ have a swell feature on the last decade of Brett Favre's heartbreakers. So check it out.

Eating the Three Sisters

No you degenerates, not polycunnilingus. But just as tasty! Read on.

Oh Golly, I've been so very lazy these past few months. What with the World Series (fuck that sack of gerbil dicks in the Bronx), Christmas Dinner (Sicilian and tasty, thank you), the NFL Playoffs (fuck my life) and general winter ennui; I have not posted since September. If anyone actually were to read this stuff I suppose an apology would be in order. In any event half of Conan O'Brien's tenure on The Tonight Show is far too long, and so, on with it . . .

The following is vegetarian, and can be vegan if you omit the cheese and broth. However, I hope any vegan reading this goes out and commits seppuku with a long, sharp burdock root.

It represents the great triumvirate of the Western Hemisphere: maize (you call it corn), beans and squash. They compliment each other in the field and were usually planted together by the . . . um . . . what do we call the Indians now? Let's just call them completely fucked over. And no, they didn't bury fish in the fields as fertilizer!

But I digress.

To quote http://www.reneesgarden.com/

"Corn provides a natural pole for bean vines to climb. Beans fix nitrogen on their roots, improving the overall fertility of the plot by providing nitrogen to the following years corn. Bean vines also help stabilize the corn plants, making them less vulnerable to blowing over in the wind. Shallow-rooted squash vines become a living mulch, shading emerging weeds and preventing soil moisture from evaporating, thereby improving the overall crops chances of survival in dry years. Spiny squash plants also help discourage predators from approaching the corn and beans. The large amount of crop residue from this planting combination can be incorporated back into the mound at the end of the season, to build up the organic matter in the soil and improve its structure."

And coincidentally---or perhaps not---the play well together on the plate too!

Beans and Zucchini Hominy Casserole for 2

Beans
1/3 lb of dried red kidney beans or pinto beans, soaked at least 8 hours
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 small bunch cilantro (as much as you like) stems and all, minced
2 poblano peppers (bell pepper can be substituted, as can hotter chilies like Anaheim for the more adventurous)
2 teaspoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons grated queso fresco (yes, Monterrey Jack is fine, too) to garnish

Roast the poblano peppers until charred on top of a gas stove. Seal in a plastic bag for ten minutes and peel. Stem, seed, slice thinly and reserve. You can also roast under the broiler, but the results are never as good; or you can skip the roasting altogether.

Saute the onions and most of the cilantro, reserving a bit for garnish. When just starting to brown, add beans and water to cover by an inch (the soaking water is fine).

Simmer for an hour or until beans are done. Season with salt and pepper about halfway through the cooking. Add hot water as needed, OR chili soaking water from recipe below. If there's still too much liquid when the beans are done, turn heat to high and stir until the excess cooks off. Stir in the roasted peppers and keep beans warm.

Squash and Hominy Casserole

3 small, 2 medium, or 1 big zucchini, about 1 1/2 pounds
2 dried guajillo (redundant, I know) chilies
1 cup chicken broth
1 15.5 oz can Goya white hominy, drained
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 tablespoons grated queso fresco (again, Monterrey Jack will do)

Toast the chilies in a hot, dry skillet BUT DO NOT BURN. Remove and soak in some boiling water for at least 30 minutes.

Dice the zucchini into 1/2 inch pieces. Then stem, seed, and finely chop the chilies. Wash hands thoroughly afterwards or wear gloves!

Heat a medium skillet over high heat, add oil and zucchini and saute. Stir occaisionally, but not constantly so they get bown and crusty.

Add the chilies and hominy, toss, and stir in the broth. Cook on high until slightly thickened. Season with salt and pepper

Place into individual baking dishes or a small casserole. Top with cheese and broil until cheese starts to brown (queso fresco doesn't actually melt).

Garnish the beans with the reserved cilantro and cheese, and serve everything hot with warm corn tortillas. Ole!