Bon Voyage Fredo

Plenty of people may note the similarity between the Kennedys and the Corleones. Except in this case, it was Fredo who survived. First we have the towering, megalith of a father who made a killing running booze. Next we have the he-man oldest brother: Joe Jr./Sonny. Of course JFK and Michael were both the sharp-dressing, iron-willed natural leaders. And Bobby and Tom Hagen were both consumate lawyers and fixers. That leaves Fredo (Ted) who everyone thought paled in comparison to his brothers and, maybe because of that, drank and talked a bit too much for his own good.



But Freddy turned out OK, and in many ways ended up doing more for the Republic than all the others combined. Except, of course, dying in the line of duty.



So lets ignore the cowardly, skirt-wearing wankers in Scotland for a moment all raise a glass (or twelve) of Chivas and soda and say "Go n-éirí an bóthar leat"



Also, if you've never been to Locke Ober in Boston, go on your next visit. The old school decor is matched by great old school food. Like the JFK Lobster Stew, a fave of the brothers K. I've made it at home and it's delicious. Have a bowl in memory of the "dream [that] will never die."

For an extra special presentation, try topping it with puff pastry à la Bocuse (Stop bitching and translate). Just make the recipe below but let the final product cool. Then ladle into bowls---footed French soup bowls work best---, top with the pasty and bake. I've served it this way (and the original truffle soup, as well) and it was VERY well received.



This recipe is from Saveur #12 and serves 6:



Maine Lobster stew has been on the menu at Locke-Ober for generations and was a favorite of John Fitzgerald Kennedy’s. Lydia Shire renamed the preparation in his honor. The stew is very rich—but Shire likes to gild the lily by adding an extra pat of butter just before serving.

6 each 1 pound live Maine lobsters
Salt, as needed
14 Tablespoons butter, softened
1 cup medium-dry or cream sherry
6 cups milk
2 cups heavy cream
1 pinch cayenne
1-2 pinches paprika
To taste, salt and freshly ground black pepper
½ teaspoon fresh lemon juice
2 springs parsley, leaves only, cut into thin strips


Plunge the lobsters into a large pot of boiling salted water over high heat and boil until just cooked through, about 4 minutes. Transfer lobsters to a large bowl of ice water to prevent them from cooking any longer, and keep them submerged until completely cool. Drain lobsters; separate tails and claws from bodies, setting bodies aside. Crack shells and remove the meat from the tails and claws, reserving tail shells. Cut the lobster meat into large pieces and set aside in the refrigerator.

Melt 8 Tablespoons of butter in a large, wide heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat. Add lobster bodies and tail shells and cook, turning often, until shells turn deep red, 5-8 minutes. Add sherry and boil for 2 minutes, then add milk and cream and return to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring often, until milk and cream reduce by one-quarter and thickens slightly, 20-25 minutes. Add cayenne, paprika, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Remove pot from heat, set this milk infusion aside to cool, cover, and refrigerate overnight.



The following day, strain milk infusion into another medium pot, discarding solids, and bring just to a simmer over medium heat.


Meanwhile, melt 4 Tablespoons of butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add lobster meat and heat until warmed through, 3-5 minutes, and then add to milk infusion in pot. Add lemon juice and adjust seasonings. Divide stew between 6 warm bowls, add some of the remaining 2 Tablespoons butter to each bowl, and garnish with parsley.

Purple Poopie Eater

Today we hear of another re-re-re-un-re-un-retirement by Brett Fah-vre. So he found a way to skip camp AND start for an NFL franchise. How nice. I won't be burning my number 4 Jersey. But let's just say I'll enjoy no small amount of schadenfreude when the Vi-Queens' season ends on a Favre interception that the guy selling lutefisk in the parking lot saw coming. Now that Brett has the chance to lose in the dome not once, but eight times a year (he's something like 4 for 14 in case you wondered) it's hard to feel anything but pity for the guy.

Kornheiser, wherever you are, a jock awaits your care!

The fine fellows at The Cold Hard Football Facts call Brett Old Yeller, as in the dog who needs to finally be put out of his misery. I guess Brett had better steer clear of Michael Vick!

La Belle Cuisine

So people are asking me if I am going to see Julie and Julia. They ask because they know I'm a J.C. fanatic. How big a fanatic? Let's just say that I happily admit that she inspired me to cook, that I can scarcely think of her without weeping, and that as far as "cuisine" in America is concerned (and with due regards to James Beard), it's Julia's world and we all just live in it.

I don't plan to go. Why not? Well, I know myself and I know that spending 123 minutes watching Meryl Streep channel the great Miss C. in a naked attempt to win an Academy Award will be unbearable.

I might have been able to tolerate it but for the fact that since 2004 when Cate Blanchett got an Oscar for playing Kate Hepburn WAY TOO MANY actors have been getting statues for doing impersonations. Don't believe me? Well this list is just winners since 2004. Cate Blanchett, Jamie Fox, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Reese Witherspoon, Forest Whitaker, Helen Mirren, Marion Cotillard and Sean Penn. Nominations such as Joaquin Phoenix's for spelling Johnny Cash---and whose recent impersonation of the Unibomber also merits consideration---aren't included. If Rich Little doesn't get an honorary Oscar this year, he should fucking sue!

Anyway, the movie is eminently rentable. Instead, I highly recommend Julia's memoir My Life in France.

This reminds me, I haven't yet gone into many details on the food I loved on our May trip to the Bay Area. So in a French State of mind, I lead off with Restaurant Jeanne d'Arc. If you like old-school charm and real French country food, this is the place. Just walking by, my restaurant radar buzzed to life. I fondly recall the bean soup, the lamb shank, a first rate soufflé for dessert (sauce poured in tableside), and a nice bottle of Loire red for under $30! We even had a short, plump, balding French waier for Chrissakes. And since it's just a few steps from the Powell cable car line, any visitor should make it a point to visit this place when in San Francisco.

Bon appétit

There's a Thin Line Between Love and Hate

Beware women scorned boys, or you may end up with . . . wait for it . . . your penis glued to your stomach. Now, a bit of industrial adhesive seems cruel, especially coupled with being bound and taunted by these four hotties. But it could have been worse. Somewhere John Wayne Bobbitt is screaming "what the fuck is this guy so upset about?" Anyway, it makes me think about the yummy and spicy garlic sausage with lentils I enjoyed recently. So lets' all take a turn for the wurst, shall we?

No, I'm not going to go into all the details of sausage making, although I do make my own and did make the garlic sausage referenced above. Interested parties can find information on how to do it here, or by getting a hold of this excellent book.
And by the way, making your own sausage is a great way to use up all kinds of trimmings and leftovers from the big pork roasts, family packs, and whole beef tenderloins you buy to save two to twelve dollars per pound!

I will tell you what the ingredients were, and then it's up to you. Of course you can buy delightful sausage (and casings too) at Fiorella's Sausage, 817 Christian St in Philadelphia.‎

I used 2 1/2 pounds of thawed meat scraps from the freezer. These included: beef sirloin and the "chain" from a beef tenderloin, raw pork belly (skinned), and pork loin and shoulder scraps.

I added a half pound of pork back fat (also skinned) to bring the fat level up to approximately two thirds lean, one third fat. Some of the scraps were fairly fatty already. Use your judgment; it ain't rocket science! All the meat was cut into small cubes, chilled to almost freezing and ground in the Kitchen Aid grinder attachment. It was then mixed well with seasonings (see below) and left overnight in the refrigerator. Next day, stuff away!

The meat was seasoned with 1 tbsp of coarsely ground black pepper, 2 large and finely minced garlic cloves, 1 tbsp paprika (smoked would work), and 2 tsp of fresh hot peppers whizzed up into a paste with olive oil. Pepper flakes would also do, and if you like it hot, then go crazy!

I also added one ounce of Morton's Tender Quick. Regular salt is fine, BUT BY WEIGHT, PLEASE. Tender Quick has additives to keep the sausage pink and if you wanna get serious about sausage, you'll need it.

I like to cook my sausage right on the oven rack at 325 degrees, with a rimmed baking pan on the rack below to catch drippings. Golden brown should be achieved in about half an hour.

On to the lentils, which by the way are extraordinarily good for you. And made with a bit of care, pretty friggin' yummy!

For four eaters you'll need 2 pounds of uncooked sausage to start with. Then:
Sauté a minced onion and two or three minced celery stalks in olive oil in a medium pot. When they're soft, cook 2 minced garlic cloves for 30 seconds. Then add a cup and a half of lentils and stir around with the oil and vegetables. Next, add a half cup of broth (vegetable if necessary, but it won't be as good) and add water to cover the lentils. Season with salt and pepper and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer for 30 minutes or so.

This would be a good time to get the sausage cooking.

Test for doneness and seasoning. If there's still too much liquid, raise the heat and cook it off. When done stir in LOTS of chopped fresh Italian parsley and serve as a bed for your yummy sausages.

Wash it down with a nice Côtes du Rhône and have a vinegary green salad after. Magnifique